What now?!?!

The thunderstorm has past
The thunder and lightening is now calm
But the storm is not just in the sky
It's in my mind and soul.

For months I am in this land
Of endless sunshine and laughter
It's great, my home, my people
But there is still something missing.

I think and try to see
What this hole inside is
I now begin to realise
It's not him, it's me!

His love surrounds me like a blanket
It's smothering but also warm
Someone who loves me for who I am
Why can't I love them back the same.

Thoughts popping into my head
Of a knight who once swept me away
Who is now cold, in the dark depths of despair
Knowing he has done so wrong.

Why couldn't have it been different
Was I so wrong for him?
I know I could have done better
To keep his love and passion alive.

I am a smarter being than before
But maybe the chance has slipped away
To reach out and grab it
And hold it tight and have it stay.

But what of the love I can't give
To the other I don't know why
Maybe too many memories
Of my knight riding by.